2009 Marriage Retreat

For those who were able to make the marriage retreat this last weekend, God really met with us in many ways. Doug Swink from Winning at Home in his final message to us talked about the importance of touching every base in our marriage. First base, good communication, second base was intimacy, third base was servanthood and home plate was sacrifice. If we search and focus on those areas. Our marriages will be successful. Perhaps one of the most important things and the number one thing we can do is to pray together. To get over our concern about any awkwardness we might have with that and just do it! Statistics bear out the incredible fact that when couples pray together, the divorce rate goes down exponentially. If you attended the retreat, we'd love to hear testimony to what God spoke to you and your spouse about...share comments!

Pastor Steve

Fireworks!

As a kid I had a love-hate relationship with fireworks—I was awestruck by their incredible beauty and the power with which they explode, but was also fearful of the danger they represent. Whether it was the noise or what the firework did, looming in the back of my head was the real possibility of losing a finger :). Somewhere within its dynamite-packed core, there was potential for destruction.

When it comes to communicating with your spouse, there are certain approaches that have an equally explosive effect. These "Communication Firecrackers" may seem innocent, but they can cause definite sparks … if not an outright blast. A few weeks ago in fusion we talked about communicating in a healthy way...here's four dangerous techniques that can cause communication blow-ups...

Threats-We rarely resolve anything when one or both partners act out of a threatening posture. Genuinely seek to understand each other without threatening your spouse.
Name calling-It degrades that person's character. Those kinds of statements are cruel and never productive. Be careful not to use name calling as you argue.
Blame-many couples, if they could, would just blame each other for their problems. A more effective way to communicate is to use "I feel" statements.
Exaggerations-"You never"... or "You always..." statements are common for exaggerators. Focus on the here and now rather than connecting today's disagreement to past problems.

Communicating well takes work...work at it!
Pastor Steve

List, lists, lists...

I love making lists. Right now, there are about four in various states of completeness littered across my desk and on my computer. It's strangely satisfying to see items listed so neatly on a sheet of paper. Oftentimes, those tidy bullet points help me get my thoughts in order in a way few other things could. I know, its sad, isn't it?

Have you ever made a to do list around your marriage and family? Think about it. We make grocery lists, to do lists, errands lists, etc. but how often do we sit down and make lists to improve or set goals for our family and marriage? Consider making some lists around certain goals: places you want to go as a couple/family; the top 5 things you want to instill in your kids; a list of positive habits you want to begin to incorporate in your marriage/family; and more!

Many of you have seen the movie "The bucket list". Its an interesting prospect. Take time this week to think about the kind of "to do" list(s) you would want to develop with your spouse and or family...and then sit down and put it together! And then, don't forget to work on checking them off!

P/Steve