Fireworks!

As a kid I had a love-hate relationship with fireworks—I was awestruck by their incredible beauty and the power with which they explode, but was also fearful of the danger they represent. Whether it was the noise or what the firework did, looming in the back of my head was the real possibility of losing a finger :). Somewhere within its dynamite-packed core, there was potential for destruction.

When it comes to communicating with your spouse, there are certain approaches that have an equally explosive effect. These "Communication Firecrackers" may seem innocent, but they can cause definite sparks … if not an outright blast. A few weeks ago in fusion we talked about communicating in a healthy way...here's four dangerous techniques that can cause communication blow-ups...

Threats-We rarely resolve anything when one or both partners act out of a threatening posture. Genuinely seek to understand each other without threatening your spouse.
Name calling-It degrades that person's character. Those kinds of statements are cruel and never productive. Be careful not to use name calling as you argue.
Blame-many couples, if they could, would just blame each other for their problems. A more effective way to communicate is to use "I feel" statements.
Exaggerations-"You never"... or "You always..." statements are common for exaggerators. Focus on the here and now rather than connecting today's disagreement to past problems.

Communicating well takes work...work at it!
Pastor Steve